Popped up to Montville this morning to deliver the 5 canvases I've been working on over the past few weeks to the gallery.
It's always an exciting (and rather nerve-wracking) time when I pack them up as carefully as I can and take them to be "formally" examined! It's not really drastic like that, but that's how my inexperienced me can end up feeling. Will they be up standard? Will they be accepted?
At times like that, I like to make sure I cut myself some slack and have a contingency plan (as hard as it can feel at the time). "If the gallery don't take some of the paintings," I told myself, "that's up to them and isn't a reflection on you, just a matter of taste."
I'm not keen on rejection at the best of times (who is?), but sometimes there needs to be other voices of reason in your head, not just the critical ones.
Luckily, my worst case scenario didn't materialise, and I felt relieved that they were well received! "Of course they were!" chimed up my insta friends. "They'd be mad not to take them."
Why is it we doubt ourselves at the final hurdle? After all the planning, the thinking about it along the way, the checking, the cross-checking? Why does the fear of failure and shame haunt us? Seeking perfection and universal praise is definitely a sure fire way to live a stressful life, after all, perfection is impossible, and reassurance is futile.
I'll try and remind myself of these next time, and temper them by celebrating instead. That's another 5 paintings where I've strived to explore my inspirations and reactions to the world around me, and am happy with how they've all turned out. Do I hope to explore more? Yes! Are these stepping stones along the way? Yes! Am I ready to get back in the art room for more painting? Hell Yeah!